Charlotte Montessori Blog

The Five Love Languages of Children

Inspired by The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

Perhaps you’ve taken Gary Chapman’s love language survey to find out how best to communicate with your spouse or significant other.  But did you know that children have love languages too? According to Gary Chapman, “A child with a full “love tank” equals a healthy, emotionally stable child.”  So how do we show love to our children? Just like adults, children have preferences on how they receive love.  Chapman identifies five areas with certain characteristics to consider in identifying your child’s love language.


Description of child:

Receiving hugs, kisses, high fives, cuddles, or enjoys being held

Tips for showing love to the affection driven child:

Hold hands, hug often, family cuddle, tickle, read stories together, snuggle on a bean bag chair, dance together, have the child sit on your lap

Words of Affirmation

Description of child:

Likes to hear verbal encouragement, says phrases like, “you did it!” to others

Tips for showing love to the affirmative driven child:

Write them notes, give compliments, speak positively about them, always say ‘I love you’, be specific in praise, use phrases like, “You should be so proud of yourself!”

Quality Time

Description of child:

Loves to do things with you, tries to get your undivided attention, wants to sit next to you, wants you to watch them

Tips for showing love to the affirmative driven child:

Run errands together, have a special day together, make eye contact, pay attention to small details, watch a movie, do yard work together, go out to eat 1:1, turn off your phone


Description of child:

Feels good when someone gives them something, enjoys a special present or surprise, likes birthdays

Tips for showing love to the gift driven child:

Keep a small stash of inexpensive gifts, give them a flower or stone you find, leave a special treat for them if you go out of town, plan a treasure hunt for them


Description of child:

Likes when others do nice things for them, enjoys helping with chores or preparing food, likes to receive help or provide help

Tips for showing love to the service driven child:

Practice sports together, work on a special project together, pick them up on time, teach them the joy of serving others


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“Of all things, love is the most potent.” –Maria Montessori

Love, Ms. Nikki